I am proposing here first my new endurance race to known as the Iditifence.
I will keep everyone informed as to race rules, facts and lore but in a nutshell-
this endurance race will start on the US-Mexican border near San Diego and rull all the
way to the Gulf of Mexico in Texas.
Rule 1- participants must run the course within 5 miles of the actual Mexican border but only
on the American side.
Rule 2- non motorized methods only and it must be in contact with Terra Firma-no hang gliders, no rubber rafts(upon the Rio Grande -silly).
Rule 3- only bicycles with the old fashioned single sprocket and coaster brakes are allowed.
No mountain bikes-these have been proven dangerous by our President.
Consider pitting the human competitive spirit against the perils of mother nature.The desert,
the hot sun, absence of water, and then the other treachery as well-Mexican Mafia, drug smugglers, coyotes, migrating workers in pursuit of full American assimilation, U.S. Border Patrol, fence construction crews, our own military, Banditos, wildlife.
At times you won't know if its immigrants or contestants that are running through the
Cholla, the mesquite, the greasewood and other cactus. Or maybe it is pursuing Border Patrolmen. Me-I'll be riding my mule-getting my ass up the pass and toward the finish line.
This should be fun if we all don't get arrested or detained for invading sovereign Mexican territory.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
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21 comments:
Part of the challenge will be to see if the participants can complete the course before the federal government can complete the fence.
I am not done yet, my next plan is to create another endurance race-This in Iraq. Iditiraq.
Participants will push a wheel barrow from the Turkish border to Kuwait. In the wheelbarrow will be
one war protester(mandatory). For some of the protesters of weak nature-consider up armoring your
Iraqi dump truck before race day.
Wow, two endurance races - I do not know which one I will particpate in. Since I like to spend my money at home and I detest being around them, let alone pushing their sorry asses across the desert, I will stick with the good old USA and fly "Old Glory" on my snow plow truck - that way I can make my own road, if shots are fired, I can raise my blade to protect my unbroken windshield and keep on going. Since it is not registered and unlicensed, it will blend right in with the majority of the other vehicles in this area. My year around, studded snow tires should grip well in the sand, it never needs oil and the gas guage works occasionally. Brush and cactus gets in the way, angle blade it out of the way at 66 mph and keep on chugging. It is use to traveling through the flood waters to get into the tackle shop in Alaska so some little river called the Rio Grande will pose no threat. Now, before you get all excited and the veins start popping in your neck, I did read your rules. It clearly stated "no motorized" vehicle, however if you refer to your "Home Handy Guide To All Repairs", page 33 you will find a list of definitons. When referring to a "motor" the inference is that you are discussing an instruimednt that works on AC/DC current - all of these compomnets are refrred to as motors. Trucks, cars and my snow plow has no motor. If you review the reference a little further, you will find all vehicles that operate with some type of petroleum product is referred to as an "engine", my snow plow truck is not solar powered, it uses enormous amounts of gasoline - therefore it must be referred to as an enginized vehicle not a mortorized vehicle to be "politically" and technically correct. There was also no reference made, therefore I will continue to use my dashboard GPS guidance and plotting equipment. Now, if you care to refute my claim to race with my truck, the next time you are having trouble with that big ole truck that you are driving, pull into the garage at your home base, look for that big mechanic, you know the one that acts like he would like to yank the head off of all truck drivers, stroll up to him in your silver tipped cowboy boots, poke him in the chest with your index finger and repear these words exactly "Hey, dummy, I wantcha to look at my truck right now, I think the motor is broken". Before you do this, call the hosptial and make reservations for the intensive care unit to save time for the ambulance crew. I am sure he will give you a clear cut definition of a finely tuned engine that some truck jockey has abused, misused, and has no basic concept as to the finely tuned components of such an engine. I rest my case, I assume there will be no furhter discussion and I will see you on the starting line, better kick that ass in gear and put some goggles on him as both of you will be eating my dust.
You wil also most likely get a portest from another portential contestant, your rules have restricted my granddaughter from entering the race because she uses a wheel chair. Your rules will restrict her from entering and I bleieve there are a batch of laws that you are violating - can you spell "l a w s u i t" - you do not want to argue this point with Heidi, she is well versed in the subject - I suggest you revise your rules before she gets a chance to see them! You will need a second room in emergency ward! Boy, did you step into it with your silver tipped cowboy boots this time!
Watch out Ranger, my on line inidcator shgows that someone is makingh a posting on your site, I do beleive it is Heidi.
Well I was going to solicit support
and funding for these races from the Greenies. But just the suggestion that your plow will wreak havoc to the pristine desert environment-I don't dare. I was going to have all participants carry a trash bag to clean up after
the other runners(the ones headed North). How many snakes will he displace or tarantulla spiders-I cant afford the environmental impact statement.
No argument pertaining to my entry - that is a shocker!
Please reconsider dear brother your entry in the Iditiraq. Wouldn't you like to push Nancy Pelosi or Cindy Sheehan perhaps in a wheelbarrow. They would be first to arrive at the IED-consider the configuration of the wheelbarrow.
Put on some real long handles and you will be well clear of the boom
and you wont have to hold a conversation with them.
Now as to your proposed entry-
you make a real strong case and I
want no part with Bubba at Acklie
(Crete) Maintenance. I suppose you can enter your plow. ONLY if you put on some of those balloon airplane tires. You mustn't tear up the surrounding too much(never mind the swath you made with the blade) Who will be your sponsor?
Gillette? Mine-Folgers of course and the Nacona Boot Company.
Been to google earth checking out
the first leg of the Iditifence.
Starting point would be specifically at San Ysidro. Since the Mexican side is mostly warehouses and airports you can see why the rules were wise in requiring participants to stay on the US side of the border. Checkpoints and watering holes like Tecate, Campo, Jacumba, Calexico and Yuma come to mind.
Why would you need GPS-stay on the side that law enforcement seems prevalient-Thats the US. When they are shooting at you for no reason-thats Mexico.
Ok, I will allow GPS, in looking at
the AZ/Mexico line-it may come in handy. Anyone caught visiting
Maria Guadalupes cantina in Sonoyta, Sonora will be disqualified for being on the wrong side of the line-Tempting yes, but against rules.
Note- I have not recieved ingress egress approval for the Barry Goldwater Air Force Range-run very fast through here. Reputation has it that you might not want to slow down on the Tohono Indian Res
either.
At over 2000 miles this would be
nearly double of the Iditarod. Participants in the Iditifence won't be lonely with the 1 million
migrants who will be crossing our course.
According to the State Department
the course would be approximately
1,951 miles. 300 million people crossing this border annually(they are heading North or South) 90 million cars(look both ways before you cross highways) and 4 million trucks(gaaaddddssss)
Okay with all those bad people...I want to enter with my daughter. No one shoots a cripple kid, in fact we will probably make friends and get lots of advice.
We will need a wavier for motorized wheels. One of those 4 wheelers that look like a mini jeep should do us just fine. Under ADA law accommodation's have to be made. We will wear helmets if President Bush insists.
As for the Iditiraq we are all for that, but we will need the same equipment, and we must tow our wheelbarrow.
Thank you for granting me a waiver, however, I must protest the 2nd entry wiaver - I am all for a "enginized" vehicle such as my snow plow, but the rules stipulate a "motorized" vehicle is illegal. Since this could accidently become an international race as well as an international disaster, I do not think all of the rules of ADA should be considered. Any compromise should only be approved by the unamimous vote of the United Nations (we know how decisive they are). I love my daughter, I love my granddaughter, however, this is a competitive race. If they want to ride with me, that is fine, I got a roipe I can tie them in sionce I do not have seat belts but I do not want to get beat out by some kid in a motorized chair pulling her mother in a wagon. I have seen this kid in her chair and she is "good", put ole Leanard Decaprio in front of her and make him run, she will win the race trying to catch him. If she is granted a wiaver, I should get additonal benefits due to age and a sundry of othjer physical and mental health problems. Wjhat were we rtalking about - oh well it is time for my meds anyway.
You surely know how to build your conter, you make one posting and then make 12 comments out of 16 to date.
Sorry about the volume of comments but the thoughts just kept coming to me and not all at once. Too many hours behind the wheel to conjure up all this I guess. Kickoff is soon-April 1, live stream coverage of the race on this blog site. I will grant a waiver for the ADA applicant. I have enough people upset with me on this international controversy I don't need my niece down on me too. Just don't spook my mule.
Now we have two energized vehciles and one ass in the race, you sure crumble under alittle political weight and grant waivers so easily. I feel that I am now handicapped, I have seen my granddaughter operate her wheels - she is good threefgore I must request an additoinal waiver for a "jet pack", it is also classifgied as an engine and the entire unit will fit snugly inthe bed of my truck, the extra boost that it will provide my speed and the weight to hold me down, I figure I can be in El Paso sipping mai-tais and eating corn chips by sunset. I will wait for you as long as you get there by August 1st - then I have to be back here for Silver Salmon season - you know that specie that escaped you last fall. "Yup, ain't lost my touch" how do you spell s k u n k e d?
What are you drinking-Tequila so soon. I was not skunked. I got
two salmon for my investment in a
out of state liscence.
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